Mello in Wonderland
by Forgotten.Thirteen
Summary: Mello is tired of being mistaken for a girl. So when Matt, his best friend, gets a girl friend, it's the last straw for Mello. But what Mello didn't expect is to be transported to a strange world through a rabbit hole. Crack AU! ON LONG HIATUS/DISCONTINUE
1. The Girly Boy

_**Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.**_

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**Mello in Wonderland**

**Chapter One: The Girly Boy**

**-**

Mello walked home from school, the wind blowing his blond hair. His best friend, Matt, walked along beside him, playing a weird game on his PSP. Mello watched his friend, his face showing complete boredom. Behind him, Mello heard the pitter-patter of small steps behind him and he quickly spun around. There stood a small, white haired boy, clutching a robot in his arms.

Mello spun back around, fuming. He hated that boy, whose name had been Near. He hated Near so much. As much as Mello tried, he could never beat Near in anything.

Matt, paying no attention to the two other males, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and stuck one in his mouth. He was about to light the end of it, when Mello stopped him by knocking the cigarette from the red head's lips.

"Matt!" yelled Mello, crossing his arms, "I told you to stop smoking! Do you know what those things do to your health?"

Matt glanced up at Mello and said nothing. He pulled out another cigarette out of the box and shoved it into his mouth, lighting the end.

"Matt! Why won't you talk to me?!" yelled Mello, quickly getting very pissed off at his best friend.

"Mello, can you shut up? I've had a bad day," said Matt and he stomped ahead.

Near walked past, looking at Mello like he had twenty-three heads.

"What are you looking at, freak?" yelled Mello and flipped Near the bird. Near glanced at Mello one more time and then ran after Matt. Mello crossed his arms and a hiss erupted from his lips. Matt was pissing him off so much today and the fact that Near was there didn't help him.

Mello rolled his eyes and then ran in the direction that Near and Matt had run off to. He ran up to Matt and ripped the PSP out of the red head's hands.

"Matt, I don't care what the problem is, but you can't go around and be an ass to everyone. Besides, I'm sure it's nothing to get worked up that much about," said Mello.

Matt took a long smoke on the cigarette and sighed. "It's the usual, Mel."

"Ah! I see," said Mello, a frowned forming on his lips. The usually happened every few days; Matt asked a girl out and then she said no. That answer was usually because Mello, Matt's best friend, looked like a girl and all the girls thought he was gay. Mello thought that both those things were completely absurd. Couldn't a guy have awesome hair and still be strait?

"Listen, Matt. Those girls aren't worth your time," said Mello, repeating what he had probably said about five thousand time.

"You think?" asked Matt.

Mello shrugged, sighed, and said, "Yeah. Something like that."

Matt gave Mello and quick hug and then skipped ahead. "Thanks, Mel. I won't give up till I find the perfect girl!"

Mello sighed and waved his friend good-bye. Sometimes, he questioned if Matt was the gay one.

-

The next day, Mello walked out of his house. He sighed and continued down side walk to school. Halfway there, he met up with Matt, the boy being cheerful as ever.

"Hey, Mello," said Matt, a smile on his face. "Guess what?"

"You finally found a hot chick online?" asked Mello, since he knew that Matt used probably every since dating website ever created.

"I'm getting close," said Matt, "and no! That isn't it! Linda called and asked me out last night! Can you believe it? A girl asked me out?"

Mello looked at Matt in shock. "You sure it was Linda?"

Matt nodded. "Positive."

"You sure it wasn't a dare or a prank?" asked Mello.

"As long as she goes out with me, I don't care if it was," said Matt.

"You're never going to get a real girl friend that way," said Mello, but Matt was too busy doing his "I got a girl to go out with me dance" to care.

-

At lunch, Mello found Matt at a table with Linda and all of her friends. So maybe it hadn't been a dare or a prank. Mello walked over to Matt and sat down.

"Hold up, Mel. What do you think your doing?" asked Matt.

"Uh…sitting down," said Mello.

"No. No. No. I don't think we should hang out anymore. You see, I now only hang out with guys that have girl friends," said Matt.

"What about Near?" asked Mello, pointing at the boy sitting at the end of the table.

"Well, Near's different. We're trying to hook him up with a girl right now, anyway," said Matt.

Mello lung for Matt neck and started shaking him. "Don't give me that shit! I've been hanging out with you since fifth grade!"

After Mello was done with him, Matt sat back done. He started rubbing his raw neck where Mello had tried to choke him.

Mello tried to have a good time at the table. He really did, but the girls where too loud and annoying. He didn't understand what the hell they where talking about. Mello ended up moving tables along with Near and they both ended up at the only open table in the cafeteria. Mello glared at Near, but said nothing.

Mello placed his head on the table and closed his eyes, glad to be away from all the screaming girls. His head was throbbing. After what felt like a few minutes, Mello opened his eyes and found the cafeteria deserted. But the weirdness didn't stop there.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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_A/N: Hello. Rasko here. I've had this thought bunny for about a week and I thought I should make a story about it. I'm currently in writer's block for What Boys Do so I would love to here your many ideas for that story. But I thought that I should start this story while I'm in the writer's block. I think this story is going to be fun to write. And you guys better thank me cause I'm reading the book over for this story. I am going to be super busy this summer (all though I will have time to update my stories, don't worry) and I have atleast ten other books that I want to read so reading Alice in Wonderland over is not something I want to do. Well, enough of my pointless ranting. I'm starting to get tired of it myself.  
_

_Please review. Reviews make me want to update faster. _


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole

_** Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.**_

* * *

**Mello in Wonderland**

**Chapter Two: Down the Rabbit Hole**

-

Mello looked around. _Where is everyone?_ he thought. He stood up to get out of his seat, when his pants got caught on something. Wait a second! Mello looked down and screamed. Why the fuck was he wearing a dress?

Before Mello could rip the dress off, he noticed something white run past him. For some reason, Mello didn't find it weird that it had been Near and he had two giant bunny ears sticking out of his head. He also wore a waistcoat, but Mello didn't find that strange, either. It wasn't until the Near bunny took out a pocket watch and yelled, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I'm going to be late!"

That quickly gained Mello's attention and his head popped up to look at the Near bunny. As much as Mello didn't want to, he decided to run after "Near." After all, he would probably know where everyone was since the whole school looked completely deserted.

Mello sprinted after Near, rolling up his skirt. "Wait up! Wait for me!"

The Near bunny ran into a hole in the ground and Mello ran after him. When Mello finally realized that running into the hole would be extremely weird, he was falling…

Falling…

Falling…

Seriously, where the hell **was** the bottom?

After falling for a while, Mello seriously needed some chocolate. He was in luck, though, because he was falling past lots and lots of shelves. Mello looked at what was on one of them and on it was a jar with the word "Chocolate" written on it. Mello beamed and reached for it. He got the jar off the shelf and desperately tried to wretch open the top. It wouldn't open. Suddenly, the top came off and fell down…

Down…

Down…

Mello was all most positive that he hadn't heard it hit the bottom.

Normally, Mello would have started freaking out, but he had chocolate in front of him. And chocolate _al_ways came first. He stuck his hand into the jar, but to his dismay, he felt the bottom. He felt around the jar to make sure and then he looked into it. Nothing. There was no chocolate in the jar.

Mello screamed and thrashed around, bailing his fists and kicking his legs. He got so pissed off that he took the chocolate jar and slammed it into the wall. The jar shattered and the glass fell down farther into the hole.

Mello kept falling. It was getting very boring. With nothing to do, Mello just crossed his arms and continued to fall. How far could this hole go? To the center to the Earth? Farther? Mello wondered this as he continued to fall. He had never been to the center of the world. He guess it would be hot and there would be lots of lava and fire.

Mello came to the bottom with a thud. He saw that there was a hallway. It continued in one direction. There was no other way to go other than up so Mello followed it. He came to a room covered in doors. He walked around and tried to open all of them, but they were all locked. Mello grumbled and walked around the room again, hoping he had missed at least one door. One unlocked door.

Sadly, that was not the case.

"Oh! I'm going to be late! So terribly late!" yelled a voice. A few seconds later, the "Near" bunny was sprinting down the hallway like there's no tomorrow.

"Near! Where are we?!" yelled Mello, turning to face the "Near" bunny.

"My name is Nate. Not Near. Now excuse me! I'm going to be terribly late," said the bunny, rushing past Mello.

Mello turned away from Nate and looked at the room once again. There, in the middle of the room, stood a glass table. Mello walked over to the table to find a small, gold key. He took the key off the table and proceeded to walk around the room, hoping to find the matching door. While he was doing this, Nate was running around and yelling things like, "Oh dear! I'm going to be late!"

Mello didn't find the door the first time around and he decided to look at the doors once more. On his second trip around the room, he came upon a small door. He was positive it hadn't been there before, but he frankly didn't care and he put the key into the little key hole.

There was a click. The key fit.

Mello secretly rejoiced, but there was one small problem. How was he going to fit through the door? It was tiny!

Mello walked back to the table. He looked for anything thing that might help him get through the door. He found a small bottle on the table that was labeled "Drink me!" Now, Mello was really smart; one of the smartest people at his school. (If it wasn't for Near, he would be the smartest.) Mello decided that no one would leave a bottle like this filled with poison. Still, he gave the bottle one quick glance and sniffed it for good measure. After finding nothing suspicious, Mello proceeded to drink the bottle. It tasted like chocolate syrup and Mello, lacking chocolate in his system, drowned the bottle in no time.

When Mello finished the bottle, he found himself shrinking. He stopped shrinking at about a few inches. He noticed that he was small enough to fit through the door. Mello walked over to the door and started to open it.

Naturally, there was one problem. Mello had left the key on the table.

Cursing his brains out, Mello stomped back over to the glass table. He looked up at the top of the table and on it sat the little, golden key. Okay, so it wasn't exactly little to Mello anymore. He grabbed onto the leg of the table and tried to pull himself up, but all it did was slide him back down.

So Mello, giving up on that, looked around for something to make him grow. Hey, if a drink that tasted like chocolate syrup could make him shrink, shouldn't there be something to make him tall again? He walked around the table and on the other side found a tiny box. He opened the box and found a chocolate bar, not unlike the ones he loved. So Mello, because he didn't have his fill of chocolate yet (and seriously, when did he have his fill?), grabbed the chocolate bar and took a big bite.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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_A/N: Hello. It's Rasko, again. Did you like this chapter? No? Well, too bad._

_I tried to make this chapter like the chapter in Alice in Wonderland, but more of Mello's style and filled with Death Note elements. That will basically be what the story will be like. _

_Please review! Reviews to me are like chocolate is to Mello. :D_

_I made a banner for this story and it will be posted on my profile. I really do like making banners. _:)


	3. A Pool Of Water

_** Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.**_

* * *

**Mello in Wonderland**

**Chapter Three: A Pool of Water**

**-**

Mello found himself rising off the floor. His head hit the ceiling with a thud. When he looked down, he found his feet still on the ground. He wondered how he was going to be able to put on his shoes and socks. It would surely take forever if not be impossible. Were there even any shoes that would fit him now? He would have to make his own shoes or ask Matt to make them. Maybe he would have to ask Matt to help him put them on, too. Until he had a girl friend, anyway. He imagined what it would be like. His feet would probably both have their own addresses. His friends and family would have to send gifts and letters to his feet. It would be extremely weird having people send stuff to your feet.

Mello grabbed the key off the table and ran to the door. He leaned over and peaked through the door. He saw a lush and beautiful garden. He suddenly felt longing to be out there in the garden and out of the room.

Mello sat down and a pout formed on his face. He was extremely bored and locked in that room. He pondered about how he would get out of there. Suddenly, he heard the pitter-patter of feet running down the hallway and suddenly Nate burst through the opening to the room. He was holding a pair of white gloves in one hand and a fan in the other. Mello hadn't remembered Nate leaving the room.

"Oh, the Duchess! She's going to throw a fit! I must hurry! I must!"

Mello felt bad for Nate for a few seconds. But then he told himself to stop pitying the bunny. He did, after all, look exactly like Near. So being desperate, Mello decided to ask Nate a question.

"Um…Nate, is it? Um…" Nate stopped in mid-run and stared up at Mello. His eyes widened and a whimper escaped his lips. He dropped the fan and gloves and ran away.

Mello picked up the fan and gloves and started fanning himself. It was starting to get very hot in the room so Mello did everything he could to cool down and didn't care how stupid he looked, being giant and fanning himself with a tiny fan. He was wearing a dress, anyway. How stupider could he look? Everything was strange. Mello even wondered if he was still himself. He wasn't Matt, that's for sure. After all, he didn't feel girl crazy. He wasn't Linda. That he was sure of, too. He wasn't Near since a version of Near was standing in the room. He was sure he wasn't Light or Misa, his neighbors, or Light's father, Mr. Yagami, who was his History teacher. He couldn't be the bus driver who called himself L or L's twin brother, B, who worked on every other Monday and Wednesday. He wasn't the principle, Mr. Watari, or his father, Roger Keehl. No, he was sure he was still Mello.

Next he tried to see if he still knew what he knew. Four times five equals twelve, right? Four times six is thirteen? Four times seven is – no, that wasn't it! Hmm…what about geography? London is the capital of Paris? Paris is the capital of Rome – no! No! Wrong! Maybe he was Misa; she was a dumb blonde, after all. Maybe he would stay down here. Until someone told him who he was, anyway. And if he was Misa, he wouldn't go up. Her boy friend was Light, after all. It would make him feel very queer to date Light. Last time he checked, he was a boy, after all. But maybe his gender had switched overnight. Which then, it wasn't weird that he was wearing a dress. Argh! It was all so confusing!

Mello looked down to his hands and saw that he had put on his gloves while he had been thinking. He wondered how he could have done that. After all, last time he checked, he had been super tall. He must have started shrinking! He walked over to the table and saw that he was now two feet tall and was still shrinking. He suddenly realized that it had been the fan he had been holding and quickly dropped it just before he became too small. He walked over to the table, but, to his dismay, the key was back on it. Things weren't much better and he was now incredibly small.

Suddenly, Mello felt himself slip on something and he fell into water. He was positive that there had been no water in the room. He swam up to the surface and looked around for an opening out of the room. He heard splashing and he thought for a minute that it might be a walrus or a hippopotamus, but when he swam closer, it was only a mouse. No, scratch that. It was the size of a mouse, but it was all deformed and almost like a human.

Would it be weird if he started to talk to the mouse? It probably was, but everything was so strange that maybe the mouse could talk, too. He decided to give it a try.

"Hey, um…Mouse. Do you know the way out of the pool? I'm getting really sick and tired of swimming around." The mouse didn't say anything, but it almost seemed like it gave him a wink. Weird. Mello had never seem a mouse wink before. It was extremely strange. Maybe it didn't understand English. Maybe it was a French mouse…human thing.

"_Ou est ma chatte?_" said Mello, since that was the only thing he knew in French and even then, he had no idea what it meant. The mouse suddenly leaped out of the water in fright.

"Oh. Um…Sorry about that," said Mello, not used to apologies.

"Why the hell did you bring up cats at a time like this?" yelled the mouse.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea what it meant," said Mello. "My neighborhood has a ton of cats. They are all strays and I go out and feed them every morning. I think it's a waste of food, but my dad says cats need to eat, too." The mouse was starting to get very offended so Mello stopped talking about cats and gave the mouse a quick apology.

"I have always hated cats: low, vulgar, and greedy pests! Don't say that word again!" hissed the mouse.

"Um…okay. I won't say that word ever! What about dogs? Do you like dogs?" For some reason, Mello was in a chatty mood. When the mouse didn't say anything, Mello continued. "The neighborhood is also filled with them, too. My friend, Matt, and I would all ways see them in the streets and in the park. He even tried to catch a stray, once. Um…am I offending you again?" The mouse had started swimming away.

"Come back! I promise not to talk about cats and dogs anymore!" yelled Mello. He had no idea what to do and the mouse was his only way of getting out of the pool of water.

The mouse swam back to Mello and said, "Let's go to the shore. I'll tell you why I hate cats and dogs there. Oh, and what is your name?"

"My name is Mello."

"Oh. Mine's Reiji Namikawa. Let's go."

The pool was starting to fill up with lots of animals like ducks, dodos, and other strange creatures. Mello swam to shore with the whole party following and when he reached the shore, he plopped down onto the sand, hoping the sun would dry his soaking clothes.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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_A/N: So Mello in Wonderland is off haitus. There are a few reasons for that, but the main reason is that I didn't want to work on my other story, What Boys Do. I seriously have to work on that, but I also got some inspiration for this story and so I wrote another chapter. _

_I thought of a few characters that could be the mouse. My first choice was Ryuk, but I decided that wouldn't have made any sense. My next choice was Rem, but I decided not to use her for that role. I next thought of Higuchi cause I thought the other animals could be the other people in the Yotsuba Group. I ended up not using Higuchi, but I did use someone else from the Yotsuba Group so that made me happy._

_"Ou est ma chatte?" means "Or is my cat?" in French. It really has nothing to do with what goes on in this story at that part, but that's what it said in Alice in Wonderland so I decided to go with it. No, I don't speak French. My brother took it in school, but that is not where I found out what it meant. Thank Google Translate! __  
_

_Please review. Reviews are nice and tasty. Like muffins. _:D


	4. A Caucus Race and a Long Tale

_** Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.**_

* * *

**Mello in Wonderland**

**Chapter Four: ****A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale**

**-**

There was a strange party that had assembled on the beach. All the birds and animals had their fur and feathers clinging to them. They all looked upset and uncomfortable. There was a lorry named Kyosuke Higuchi, a dodo named Takeshi Ooi, a giraffe named Arayoshi Hatori, a duck named Shingo Mido, a hippo named Eiichi Takahashi, an owl named Suguru Shimura, and a lobster named Masahiko Kida along with Namikawa the Mouse and Mello himself.

The main question was how to get dry again. A conversation started up among all the animals. After a few minutes, Mello found himself talking to them like he had known them all his life. He had a long argument with Higuchi the Lorry and it ended with Higuchi saying that he was right because he was older. Mello did not allow this and started to scream and yell because Higuchi would not tell his age. After a while, Mello got bored and the matter was dropped because nothing else needed to be said.

Namikawa, who looked like he had some authority among them, ordered all of them to sit down. "I'll make you dry soon enough." They sat in a ring around Namikawa.

"Ahem! This is the driest thing I know so can everyone please be quiet," said Namikawa, clearing his throat. He started rambling about something about the ways of economy and how the world's companies were faring. Mello quickly got bored and started to nod off. It defiantly was the driest thing ever!

Mello woke with a start when Higuchi the Lorry mumbled an "Ugh!" from right next to him.

"Excuse me," asked Namikawa, frowning. "Did you say something?"

"No! I didn't!" replied the Lorry in haste.

"I was almost positive you had," said the Mouse with another frown. With that, he continued on with his very _boring_ story. After a while, Namikawa turned to Mello and asked, "How are you feeling, Miss?"

"Still wet and I am a boy. Not a girl. The next time you say something like that, I'll be digging your graves! Got it?" yelled Mello, jabbing a finger in Namikawa's direction.

"Well, than, why are you wearing a dress?" asked Higuchi with a chuckle.

"I have no idea. I woke up and I was suddenly wearing it. I would take it off, but I have nothing else to wear and I'm not going around naked. Who knows how many perverts there are running around who are desperate to get in your pants? It doesn't matter, anyway. I don't understand where I am and everything is so weird."

"In any case, I say that this meeting is adjourned. Now, how about we try a caucus-race?" suggested Ooi the Dodo.

"What's a caucus-race?" asked Mello. He was embarrassed to asked because it made him feel stupid. He just hoped that Near didn't know what a caucus-race was either.

"Why, it's better to experience it yourself than have someone explain it!" said Ooi. He drew a circle in the dirt and told everyone to stand along the course. They were told to just start running. They started running however they liked and left off how they liked so it was hard to tell when the race was over. After half and hour, Mello felt he was about to die. He never really cared about gym and he barley ever exercised. He greatly regretted that while running the caucus-race. Soon, Ooi called out that the race was over and Mello collapsed onto the sand, panting hard.

"Who has won?" asked Mido the Duck.

Ooi could not answer the question without a bit of a thought. He stood there in a thinking position for a while. At last, he said, "Everyone has won and all must have prizes!"

"But who is to give out the prizes?" asked Hatori the giraffe.

"She is, of course," said Ooi, pointing at Mello.

"I'M A BOY!" yelled Mello.

"All right. All right. **He** is to give out the prizes," said Ooi.

Mello didn't know what to do so he reached into the pocket of the dress. He found a box of chocolate, and, hoping to find other things, he looked around some more to only find a thimble. He wondered how that had gotten in there, but it didn't really matter to him at that moment. In defeat, he pulled out the chocolate box and handed the chocolates around to everyone. There was none that were left over to him and that made him very sad.

"But she…I mean, he…must have a prize her…I mean, himself, you know," said Namikawa.

"Of course," said Ooi, "What else do you have in your pocket?"

"Only this," said Mello, pulling out the thimble.

"Give it to me," ordered Ooi.

All the animals gathered around them as Ooi presented the thimble. Mello thought it was hilarious and pathetic what they were doing, but he decided to try his best not to laugh. He took the thimble, trying to look as thankful as possible while promising himself that he would throw it in a forest or maybe a lake once he was away from the animals.

The next thing that happened was all the animals started to eat the chocolate. This cause a bit of a problem as some of the little birds had started to choke on theirs. However, when it was all over, the animals sat down in a ring and begged Namikawa to tell them another story.

"You promised to tell me why you hate cats and dogs," said Mello, wondering why he even cared.

"It's a long and sad tale," said Namikawa and proceeded with the story. Mello didn't pay much attention to the story and the whole thing came out as a bunch of nonsense to him.

"Excuse me, but why are you not listening?" asked Namikawa about half way into the story.

"Um…I was! I was!" countered Mello.

"I saw you spacing off!" yelled the Mouse. "That is very rude, especially since you had been the one to ask me about my history."

"Um…Mr. Namikawa, sir. You have a big knot in your tail. Let me untie it!" pleaded Mello, again wondering why he would want to do something like that.

"No! You shall not! You insult me by talking such nonsense!" yelled the Mouse.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! There is something clearly wrong with me today!" apologized Mello. The mouse just stood up with a growl and started walking away.

"Please come back and finish your story!" begged the other animals, but the mouse didn't reply.

"What a pity he didn't stay!" said Higuchi once Namikawa was out of hearing range.

"Hmm…I wish there was a cat here! A cat would fetch Mr. Namikawa and bring him back," said Mello, wondering what it was with him and cats today.

"CATS!" roared the animals. They all ran away into the woods and the skies. Mido the Duck ran to the water saying, "It is getting quite late! I must be going now!"

Mello wondered why he had even brought up cats. He knew perfectly well that birds and mice hated cats. So why had he? Being all alone, Mello curled up under a tree, lonely as ever. He felt terrible. Why, he didn't know. He usually never felt terrible over something like that. Mello heard the little pitter-pattering of footsteps in the distance and he looked up, half hoping that the mouse or maybe some of the other animals had come back.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

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_A/N: Is this story confusing to anyone? Because if it is, I'm doing me job!_

_I got a banner from playwithfire06 of quizilla. I'll put it on my profile in a little while._

_Please review. Reviews make me happy and make me update faster._


	5. Who Nate Sends

_** Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.**_

* * *

**Mello in Wonderland**

**Chapter Five: Who Nate Sends  
**

**-**

Mello looked up to see Nate walking towards him, looking very nervous, as if he had lost something. "I am so very late! The duchess is going to kill me! She's going to give me a heart attack and then throw my body in a lake! Where did I drop them?"

Mello was positive that Nate had been looking for the fan and gloves. Mello didn't exactly want to help the rabbit, but he decided that this wasn't exactly the same Near/Nate that he knew and went to look for them. Sadly, they were no where in sight. Everything was different since his swim. There was no great hall with the glass table and the little door had disappeared.

Very soon, Nate spotted Mello and called out to him. "Halle! Halle! What are you doing? Run home and get me a pair of gloves and a fan! And make it quick!"

"Halle? But I'm not Halle!" yelled Mello. "Who the hell is Halle?"

"Of course you're Halle! You have blond hair! And you're wearing her maid outfit!" said Nate.

"A maid outfit? Holy shit!" yelled Mello, for he had just realized that the dress he had been wearing resembled one. He could just picture Matt taking pictures of him and selling them on eBay.

Nate crossed his arms, a pout appearing on his face. "Well, whoever you are, please go fetch my gloves and fan! I'm going to be terribly late!"

Mello decided that there was no other way to get Nate to leave him alone so he ran towards the direction that Nate had said his house was. He was sort of pissed off; this wasn't exactly the same Near he knew, but it was close enough and the thought of helping anyone who even had a small resemblance to Near pissed him off. He imagined next he would be running errands for all his friends. Mello the errand boy: another nickname to add to the list.

He finally arrived at a small house with a brass plate tacked upon the door that said, "Nate River." Mello, sure that it was the place, open the door without knocking and entered the house. Even though it was considered breaking and entering, Mello didn't expect anyone else to be in the house and Nate had given him permission to enter…more or less, anyway. He ran upstairs, hoping that he wouldn't have to encounter the real Halle. He entered a small room and knew instantly that it was Nate's bedroom.

_It's tiny, but it must be perfect size for that little emo puff ball! _thought Mello.

Mello saw a table with a tiny fan sitting on it with a few pairs of matching gloves. He picked up the fan and gloves and was about to leave when his eyes fell upon a small bottle on the table. There was no "Drink me!" label on the bottle, but Mello knew that those kinds of bottles made things happen. Mello picked up the bottle and took a whiff. The bottle, once again, smelled like chocolate. _Hot_ chocolate. So Mello, his chocolate levels depleting, took the bottle and brought it to his lips. In a matter of seconds, the contents in the bottle had disappeared down Mello's throat.

The changes came instantly.

"Ow, dammit!" yelled Mello as his head hit the ceiling. He tried to lift a hand to his aching head, but he found that there was hardly any room to move. He was now as big as a giant, with no room to move in the now super tiny room. Mello chucked the bottle outside, many profanities escaping his lips. He cursed himself for drinking the bottle, but it was now too late. He kept growing and growing until one arm was out the window and the other was sticking out of the chimney. Finally, he stopped growing. Mello wished he hadn't followed Nate down the rabbit hole. It made a lot more sense back at home, where he wasn't being ordered around my his arch-enemy and he stayed about the same size. He assumed that after his little adventure, he would write a book. It would be easy money. He'd have to change all the names; no one would ever believe him if he said it had actually happened.

Suddenly, Mello's thoughts were disrupted by a voice from outside.

"Halle! Halle! I'm going to be late! Where is my fan and gloves?" yelled Nate, who was standing outside on the porch that very moment. Mello then heard the pitter-patter of steps and knew that Nate was coming to look for him. Nate came up to the door and tried to open it, but sadly Mello's elbow was in the way.

"Halle! What are you doing? Open this door immediately!" yelled Nate.

"Uh…sorry. I can't! The doors stuck!" yelled Mello, followed by a couple of curses to make it sound like he was struggling with the door.

Nate gave a "humph" and said, "Fine! I'll just go through the window and help you!"

"No! No!" said Mello. "I'm perfectly fine by myself! I've almost got it!" It was a useless attempt, though, since Nate had already left. Mello turned his head to the window and saw Nate climbing up a ladder. As soon as Nate caught sight of Mello's giant eye, he gave a shriek and tumbled to the ground.

"Rester! Rester! Where are you?" yelled Nate.

"I'm over here, digging for apples!" said a voice that Mello assumed to be Rester.

"Come over here! There is something you need to see!" yelled Nate. After about a minute, Nate said, "What would you call that, Rester?"

"That would be an arm. A giant one," said Rester.

"Yeah, right! I've never seen an arm that big!"

"Well, neither have I, but it's an arm, all right."

"Well, I don't want it in my house! Get rid of it!" ordered Nate.

"I don't like it either, sir, but how would you propose we get rid of it?" asked Rester.

"Just do as you're told!" yelled Nate.

Mello, his limbs cramping from the position he was it, tried to move around. All it caused was shrieks from the two little people on the ground. It was quiet for sometime, until the silence was broken by a bunch of people that had gathered around the house.

"Where's the other ladder?"

"Gevanni's got one!"

"Gevanni, bring it here!"

"Here, put it up to the side of the house!"

"Tie them together first!"

"They don't reach!"

"Gevanni, hold this rope!"

"Will the roof hold?"

"It's coming down! Watch out!"

(There was a crash.)

"Who did that?"

"Probably Gevanni!"

"Who's going down the chimney?"

"I'm not! No way! You do it!"

"Me? No way!"

"Then tell Gevanni to do it!"

"Gevanni, Nate says that you have to go down the chimney!"

Mello felt bad for Gevanni, but he decided that Gevanni coming down the chimney was not a good idea. The fireplace was narrow, but he was sure he would be able to push Gevanni out. Mello pushed his foot into the fireplace and kicked up. He heard a little shriek of animal, of which he had no idea.

"There goes Gevanni!" shouted someone outside.

"You! By the hedge! Catch Gevanni!" ordered Nate.

There was silence, followed by more confusion.

"Hold up his head!"

"Brandy now!"

"Don't choke him!"

"How was it? You happened to you? Tell us all about it!"

It was followed by a voice that Mello was sure belonged to Gevanni. "Well, I have no idea – no more, I'm okay now – but I'm in too much shock to tell you. All I know is that something came at me and I went flying!"

"We must burn the house down!" yelled Nate.

Mello searched the room as best of his abilities, hoping that there was something, anything that could help him.

"A barrowful will do," said someone outside.

_A barrowful of what?_ thought Mello, though he was sure his guess was pretty accurate. Suddenly, a shower of little pebbles flew towards the window, hitting him in the face. Suddenly, the pebbles turned into little chocolate cakes. Mello grabbed one and stuffed it in the face. He was about to grab for another one when he noticed he had started shrinking. As soon as he was small enough to get through the door, he ran out of the house to find an assortment of animals outside. Gevanni the gecko was being treated to by some guinea-pigs. As soon as the animals spotted him, they flew after him, but he ran into a forest and out of sight. He needed to get back to his normal height and then he would try to get into the beautiful garden he had seen before. He'd probably be safe there.

Suddenly, there was a loud bark and Mello looked up. He came face to face with a huge puppy. The dog looked at him with its enormous eyes and pawed at Mello.

"Hey! Hey! Stay back!" yelled Mello. He picked up a stick and waved it at the puppy. "You want this, don't you?" The puppy responded to that by barking in delight. Mello dropped the stick and quickly ran to the bushes. To safety. When he looked back, the puppy was busy tackling the stick and hadn't noticed that Mello had left. Mello quickly turned back around and made a run for it, running until the puppy's bark was far away. He sat down on a flower to rest. He wondered, once again, how he would grow to his normal size. On top of that, he was getting kind of hungry. There was a mushroom nearby that was not much bigger than him. He looked around it and when he found nothing, it accrued to him that maybe he should look on top of the mushroom. He peaked over the top of the mushroom and when he did; his eyes met those of a large caterpillar who slightly resembled Mr. Yagami. The caterpillar was sitting on the top of the mushroom, smoking something that looked like a long tube connected to a water jug which Mello realized, after shuffling through his memory, that it was called a hookah. The caterpillar paid no attention to the boy and continued to smoke.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

* * *

_A/N: Hello. It's me, forgotten.thirteen. This chapter was a lot of fun to write. I would love to hear any ideas for this story, but I'd probably won't use them because I already have the whole story planned out. But I'd still love to hear them. _

_Please review. I always read every review I get, even though I do not respond to all of them. Sorry, but I just don't have the time. Also, if you know how to make them, banners would be awesome.  
_


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